Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Wasp

So on my way to run an errand, I feel what I think is a rock in my boots as I drive. I push aside the random thought of snake and rationalize how no living creature can be in my boot without me feeling it.
I am now at the store and the rock is really irritating me to the point at which I remove my boot in the middle of the store isle and proceed to shake it out. However its not rock that falls out, in fact its nothing at all. It only when I look in my boot that I realize its not a rock, rather its a WASP that has been in my boots from home to the 15 minute car ride in a standard car that has been bugging me.

That is the wasp, post falling out of my boot. In the middle of a shopping store isle.....

Now, being the friggin suck that I am, and taking empathy for the wasp who chose not to bite me, I decide, post calming down and resisting the urge to freak out, to pick up said wasp using the random piece of paper in my purse and place him in the cart. I could not leave him in the middle of the store isle. I mean he could have been squashed. I was not sure if it was my fault that prevented him from being able to fly away or it was the shock from the journey...or perhaps the stench from my feet, but I chose not to think about that.....So he took a ride with me in the shopping cart that is till I hit the flower stand area. I decided to leave him there in the flower pots. I chose a nice orange flower. At this point I used my finger to get him onto the flower. I realized that would be the best spot as opposed to the shopping cart...yeah, flower pot, thats better, right......

Now, I proceeded to shop for a good 20 minutes trying to ignore the fact that I had a wasp in my boots all that time, and now I am displacing a bug from my house to what seems like a million miles away to him...I mean its a stupid bug...ITS A BUG! 

I am not sure what brought me back to the flower section, but I was there. I am not sure what made me look into the same flower pot I had placed the wasp in....but he was still is a  girl to do? Ok, what is a not so sane empathetic girl to do?

I bought the flowers with the wasp. 

Yeah, I am that nuts.

At this point I am getting even more stares from the suburban automatons with their 2.5 kids who are screaming and running down the isles, but I couldn't give a rats ass. The wasp was gonna get out of the hell that is known as the big box store and come back with me, home. Thats right, I am that crazy!

I go to the cash, bring the flowers to the car, go to Ikea, stay there for a good 45 min and proceed to come home....well, guess who else is coming with me....thats right Mr. Wasp!

This is the wasp, that made it from my house, via my boots, to the store, in the store, on a plant, though checkout, though the parking lot, in my car on a 30 minute journey, and now is happily home!

This is why I think I am nuts!!! I had empathy for a silly wasp. I thought, how awful would it be to be displaced from ones clan, in a new area, especially in a concrete world. Bah, I am too empathetic. Its my flaw.

Regardless, he and I both got home...he has had a great adventure and I got a plant out of it. And learned that I am way WAY too empathetic, and a suck. But the Wasp now has a bitchn' story to tell the rest of his friends about a trip in a stinky boot and a ride in a car. I bet his friend will think he is crazy. I still am grateful that he didn't bite my foot. Maybe thats why I got so empathetic. 

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